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Racing lights.

     I can recall sitting out on the front doorstep watching the cars go by.   My toes are on the third step and I'm about fifteen feet away from the busiest street in town.  Some of the bastards drive with the music so loud it rattles everything on the walls.  I always wanted to live in the middle of the city and this was as close as anyone could get living in a state filled with country.  I watched cars go by but there is no sound, only lights.  Bright, neon, blinding lights that trace in long stretched out lines almost as if they are racing each other or racing against time.  I swear moments prior to this all the windows in the small house were open and the sound coming from the outside world was screeching so loud it was too much to bear but when I come out to investigate the sound I am in a trance with the surrounding silence and bright lights.  So I sit, and stay a while.  
     When I retrace my steps back into the house there are people, their faces I won't ever forget, but the names of them are a giant blur.  They are walking freely in my home as if we are friends or have history but I don't really know these people.  A guy is following me around which is making me super nervous.  I believe he is the one who catered to the night from the beginning. I can hear the sound of bubbles filtering through the dirty water and then there is a thick smoke.  The smell itself, would send shivers down my spine.  He smiles and walks away to find his next victim.
     The stairway is dark because the light bulb has been burnt out for weeks.  I had better things to do at the time then to change a light bulb, I suppose.  I hated that basement anyway.  Each stair under my feet is making the most awful sound of old creaks and squeaks, that it almost pisses me off before I get to the bottom stair.  It was certainly a chore getting down them.  I see my roomie Irish who is cooing like a fucking pigeon in the corner of his closet.  The music is turned up so loud, that my ears are ringing. I am stunned for a brief moment, and and I look around his room it is filled with people I am unsure I have ever met before.  He looks super nervous almost scared like a child, serves him right.  I can't do anything but move through the motions of an outburst of laughter.  A laugh that made my stomach hurt and an uncertain laugh because I am unsure if I am having a good time or if I am also scared like a child.  Fuck. I leave him alone and go back up stairs.  The noise that continued to blare in through the windows was almost to much to bear.
     I lock myself in the bathroom, and run the hot water.  I unclothe and burn my skin as I splash around in the tub like I am a mermaid.  I lay laughing because I have escaped the noise and I am defeated in my own mind.  I had splashed so much water out of the tub it was flowing seemingly down under the slant toward the door of the bathroom.  There is almost complete darkness and I just lay still.  The thoughts were unclear because at this point I don't even feel alive or human for that matter.
     The pounding on the door made me realized that the little bit of water still in the tub had turned a temperature that felt like pin needles on my skin.  I dried off, threw some towels on the floor to soak up the water that had now filled each groove of the fake flooring.
     The noise was gone.  The darkness was filled with grey light.  I was dizzy, and naked looking in the mirror.  I had no idea who was staring back at me.
     The rest is history...My mind is blank after that moment.

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