Skip to main content

Another intro.

     Funny, how I thought about coming back in my tiny office space to write another blog post as if I already knew how the morning would play out.  I heard the kids' alarms ringing and they got up to get ready for school.  I was tired, but as I look over at my husband laying next to me, I know that its just going to be another ordinary day off for me.  I get up with the kids, make sure S doesn't go to school with her hair sticking straight up since third grade can be tough on a girl.  I hear K downstairs getting ready for school. Hes been avoiding me lately because I took his phone from him. I shake my head as I think about it.   Teenagers. UGH!
    I make coffee, ensuring there will be enough for M when he gets up, or he will drink the rest of what I may have made for me.  I bring up the laundry that was drying last night as I went to bed, and began my usual cleaning routine for my day off.  Quite boring, but I enjoy the quiet after the kids leave for school.
     When M walks out, this could either go one one of two ways.  He will walk out in a great mood, and say in his enthusiastic voice "good morning, honey!" but it will the be over dramatic effect where I can't tell if he is being sarcastic or trying to be an ass.  Surly he remembers what a dick he was last night.  Or he will walk out in complete silence and still be pissed off about all the little things in life.
    When he finally woke up and walked out of the room, I was silent.  I am unsure how to react anymore.  I've had close to four cups of coffee, more Italian sweet cream creamer than coffee but who cares.  I don't say a word.  Instead I gaze off our two story back porch into the field that is now becoming a new subdivision of town homes.  He mentions something about the Fresh Prince of Bel-air that is on the TV, something along the lines of how he hasn't seen it forever.  I had thought the same thing when I changed it to that channel. The tone in his voice reassures me that he is no loner angry and that the morning will go as my first thought.  Like nothing ever happened.
    Of course he doesn't know that after his little pissy-fit last night, I went into our bathroom and cried.  I can be such a sap.  When push comes to shove I either cry or yell, and yelling never gets us anywhere.  So I cry, wash my face, put some concealer on, and go on back into the living room like nothing happened.  By this time he was in the garage on the phone with his brother and there I was, still dwelling on his pissy fits.   I call them pissy fits, because things can be going great one minute and the next he is upset about the dumbest shit.
     I pour me another cup of coffee and come into my office space and begin this blog. He gets the vacuum out and starts to vacuum, and I blog and pay bills.
   

Popular posts from this blog

Racing lights.

     I can recall sitting out on the front doorstep watching the cars go by.   My toes are on the third step and I'm about fifteen feet away from the busiest street in town.  Some of the bastards drive with the music so loud it rattles everything on the walls.  I always wanted to live in the middle of the city and this was as close as anyone could get living in a state filled with country.  I watched cars go by but there is no sound, only lights.  Bright, neon, blinding lights that trace in long stretched out lines almost as if they are racing each other or racing against time.  I swear moments prior to this all the windows in the small house were open and the sound coming from the outside world was screeching so loud it was too much to bear but when I come out to investigate the sound I am in a trance with the surrounding silence and bright lights.  So I sit, and stay a while.        When I retrace my steps back int...

Find Balance. Goal.

How do I find equal balance in my life?  I thought I was doing a great job up until this point. I get upset with myself because it seems like lately all I do is yell at my kids for not doing their chores, get upset with husband because he let them go play without doing their chores first. I come home late from work after a 15 hour work day, exhausted, and yet I panic because my house is a mess.  My anxiety definitely gets the best of me.  I like to have a clean house, but with four of us living here, I feel like we should all have a part in keeping it clean.   Yet, that is my expectation. I am working on finding balance.  Balance in my household, for all of our sakes. Balance in my OVERLY demanding job, because I love my job but I can easily hate it. Balance with my fitness and weight, since I feel like a lardass. Balance with not drinking as much.  God I love my brewskies. Speaking of brewskies, yesterday was the first day I didn't get home and...