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Feelings suck.

I am not angry, I just don't know how to feel....
     
      Yesterday recap....   Our movie ended, and I headed upstairs to tuck in S.  She was in bed already and Hubby was by her closet door.  He said "Look at all the paint chipped on the floor where you just ruined the door, its all lifted up and you ruined it."  He said it in his I am pissed and disappointed voice.  I honestly had no idea what he was talking about, so I looked at the floor only to see chips of porcelain that lay on S's floor.  The other night I recall, when one of the porcelain masks that belonged to my grandma, had fallen to the floor and broke.  Those were the chips remaining from that ordeal.  I bent down to pick them up and barked back "these are not paint chips, what are you talking about paint chips for, why are you upset about that, when these are just chips of porcelain from my grandmas mask??!!"   I held my hand out for him to feel the crumbling chips in my hand.  He refused and walked off.
    I looked down at the ground and seen a tiny edge of the door on the bottom slightly lifted.  The damage was so itsy bitsy that its questionable weather or not that has always been there.  He was tripping out thinking I had ruined it some how, because S is saying that I tried to open the door and I broke it.  Yet, those weren't even paint chips.   
     I stand there with the damn porcelain in my hand, and I don't say a word.  I just shrug to myself.  I can hear Hubbs saying "that is why we don't have anything fucking nice, because it just gets ruined," as he's stomping down the hallway.  Still I'm confused, because he is pissed over something that hasn't actually taken place.  
    S must have seen tears swell up in my eyes because she gets out of bed and hugs my torso.   I tuck her in, telling her goodnight.
    By this time the phone rings, and Hubbs goes into garage to talk on it.  I go into the bathroom and sob. I'm pissed now because he gets upset over the stupidest shit, and here I am not sure of what I did wrong.  I cry, wash my face and put my makeup back on even though its late.
     The night goes on and he is still on his phone talking to his brother.  I drink a beer, and just sit in the living room, half watching the show that is on, and half confused on how to feel about what just happened.  My show ends,  eventually I wind up her creating this blog and then I go to bed. Finally he joins me and we lay in silence as the TV is blaring.  I normally would bring it up again and try to talk it out, and it would either get resolved or we would get pissed about something else, and nothing gets resolved.  But to be honest, I don't want to bring it up, because I am just sick of these little pissy fits happening and nothing ever changing.  
     I gave him the remote, said goodnight, rolled over and passed out.
END YESTERDAYS RECAP.

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